The Discernment of a Teen: How it all began

My first encounter with discernment actually isn't as dramatic as I thought it would be. Contrary to common belief, my first desire actually did not come from a "Retreat High" as many would call it or in the meeting of an inspiring priest, but rather in a little wager with my Lord before a difficult math Test.

So the story goes that it was the end of lunch and I totally was not prepared for the upcoming Math test (probably due to another late night of playing starcraft...oh starcraft, the bane of my 8th grade social life). So I was joking with my friend James Go saying "If I get a 100% on this math test, I will become a priest!" To my surprise... I actually passed, but not with a 100%. However, for some reason, the thought of becoming a priest never seemed to leave my mind.

Probably the memory that I keep running back to comes from a homily by Fr. Kinane. He was telling us about his call to the priesthood, which came in the form of a friend suggesting that he go to the seminary. When Fr. Kinane refused, his friend persisted saying "Why not?" And that question, sisters and brothers is what constantly enters my mind when I consider a life dedicated to the priesthood. The world says "Why?" but God asks "Why Not?". Several years later, I have yet to come up with a response to the same "Why not?"

As my faith grew over the years, the desire to become a priest became stronger and stronger. Just like how a person who loves animals wants to become a vet, as I began to truly know my faith and love God the idea of becoming a priest made sense. And these desires came with a lot of, as Sean and I would say, "Cute Signs."

In the past 4 years, I can't tell you how many instances I've had when I said, "My gosh, maybe this is a sign from God." They range from alter serving for the Bishop at Fr. Aldo's Ordination Mass (which I think is supposed to be done by seminarians) to having teachers randomly comment other teachings saying, "That boy is going to become a priest one day." One time in my junior year, a rumor (well not really rumor in the sense that it was false) actually spread through the campus about me. The whole day, people kept asking me "Are you going to become a priest?" I remember just smiling it off and saying stuff like "Who told you that?" and "Maybe, who knows?". I remember numerous conversations with people in my youth group, church and school about the priesthood. I can't, for the life of me, remember the details of such conversations but all I can say is that I've tossed around the idea of becoming a priest many times in the past 5 years. To put it simply, the priesthood simply inspires me. Of course there are a whole lot of concerns that come with such a life (most of which I will address in further posts) but overall becoming a priest doesn't really scare me like most teens my age.

"Well what about the whole not getting married thing? Or the fact that you're pretty much devoting your life to prayer and service? Can you handle celibacy? Don't you want to be successful? Have you dated yet? What about all the scandals going on in the Church? Why not go to college first, get the college experience? Are you sure about the whole celibacy thing? The priesthood is not natural! Did I mention the celibacy?"

All questions and concerns that I will address in the next 27 days, but for now, I leave you with the summary of a conversation I've had with Sean about becoming a priest (geez Sean, I mentioned you like 5 times in this post!)

It's difficult to picture myself in boot camp, preparing myself to serve in my nation's army. I have utter and complete respect and admiration for anyone who is willing to give up their life to serve in the army, navy or marines. But for some reason I just can't bring myself to even consider that possibility (Though when I turn 18 and sign up for the draft, that possibility may actually be possible!).

That is how I feel about the priesthood. Just like how there are people out there who are willing and ready to serve their country in that way, I too have come to realize that I might actually be called to serve God through the priesthood. Does that mean I'll definitely become a priest in 10 years? Honestly, only God knows.

There are a whole lot of stories, details, and thoughts I still have to express. For example, today the idea of going to Berkeley actually excited me. But for tonight I'll save my thoughts for tomorrow. Oh! and also be on the look out for this Friday's post because I'll be meeting up with Fr. Brian, the vocational director for our dioceses. I have a feeling that it will be a long post. Until then, Peace and love sisters and brothers!


The Discernment of a Teen: New Blogger Approaching

So in the whee hours of a school night, after a long day of procrastination, I decided to post my first article on the site. Well here's a little intro about why this "new blogger is approaching":

My name is Patrick-Lawrence Bartolome Arguelles, also known as Rence. The reason I asked Raj if I could post some articles on the site is because the next 28 days are probably going to be some of the most momentous days of my life.

You might be saying "This kid is probably just worrying about college and needs a place to vent. He shouldn't be using this site for his teen angst...that's what myspace is for!"

Well, yes and no. As Sean would say, "Rence is a Senior at St. Pat's who got accepted into Berkeley and Davis...but is also considering going to the seminary after High School" By May 1, my Statement of Intent to Register is due. That is why I believe the next 28 days are going to be a crucial time frame that should not be taken lightly.

So for the next month, I plan on going to the ends of the earth (Oregon Border where Fr. Leatherby currently resides) and meeting hundreds of new people (a handful of seminarians at St. Patrick and Mount Angel) in order to discern what God's will is. And you, my brothers and sisters in Christ, I have decided to take you with me on this journey.

In a facebook (I neither support nor promote facebook/myspace) message to Sean, I wrote:

"I wanted to do it (write on the blog) because 1) it keeps me accountable on my journaling time because I get really lazy 2) lets people know how I'm doing without having to repeat the same story over and over again 3) I might end up helping fellow readers discerning about the same thing and 4) it would be nice to have something to look back on"

So with that, I humbly ask for your prayers for the next month. I hope to post some more background information and updates about my discernment (For example, on March 31, I consecrated myself to Mary with Sean and Staci based on the writings of St. Louis de Montfort who wrote, "...this devotion consists in surrendering oneself in the manner of a slave to Mary, and to Jesus through her, and then performing all our actions with Mary, in Mary, through Mary, and for Mary" (http://www.memorare.com/mary/totalcons.html))

I remember someone told me once that he didn't care if people saw the good works he was doing, but rather he only cared that people loved Christ more because of him. Though I'm paraphrasing off of memory, the true is for me. I don't want people to think highly of me through this blog, I only ask for prayers and that through my story, people may somehow love HIM more and also desire to do HIS will and not the "Will of the World"

So with that, I end my intro. Peace and love Brothers ans Sisters.